My Multiple Sclerosis and you.

An update is long overdue. This post is for some of you in particular, though some of it is for you noobs. Welcome to my life: WARNING: I was somewhat grumpy when I wrote this post, it is fairly aggressive.

I have multiple sclerosis and I've accepted it, it's part of who I am, I take it one day at a time. If you go back and read my post about my neuropsych evaluation of cognition then you'll come to understand why I may seem slow to catch on sometimes. Deal with it and quit making jokes about it, I do not find them funny and likely will never find them funny. In fact, they're slightly upsetting. It's like making fun of a birthmark and we're not in elementary school anymore. Actually, basically any joke about my MS is out of line. I don't appreciate the vast majority of them. I will make jokes, but I know which humor is okay and which are not (obviously, it is my life, after all). These jokes are similar to self depreciating humor, you can make them about yourself but the second you make them about someone else you become part of the problem with the world.

Why does this come up? I have no idea. I suppose some recent jokes (which I can't remember the specifics of) pushed my over my edge.

Recently I got sick. Thankfully it only lasted two days. First time I've been sick since my major attacks (which are now a mighty trilogy, for those of you who do not know. Partial blindness, memory problems, and dizziness when standing) and I'm sure some of you may know what someone with MS experiences when they're sick. Because MS attacks something that can't regrow naturally (the myelin sheath) the brain has to function at a higher capacity to perform something someone else without MS can do with normal brain activity. See this and this. The former being more difficult to understand, but is a possible explanation of why us MS people have lassitude (or get fatigue). The latter is a general article on MS fatigue.


I've lost my train of thought. That happens some times. Stupid MS. Never happened this often before. Well, i suppose now is as good a time as any to quote President Eyring: "but think of the day when you must know what God would say and what He would do. It has already come for us all--wherever you are in your calling in the priesthood." Today is the time where you need to know what God would have you do. now is the time to be who God wants you to be! Go and get His revelation. Be His tool. Let Him work through you!

Anyway... I remember what I was talking about. I got sick. Guess what? All my previous MS attacks came back for the duration of my illness! I could barely function. I was severely fatigued, could barely stand without falling, almost passing out when standing. I had my trusty (sarcasm) blind spots back, and I was forgetting why I walked into a room several times a day forgetting random words. Although in the moment, it sucked... I was extremely fascinated by this interesting turn of events. I found a great article that explains it.

Okay. Another thing that came to my mind. Although it looks like I take my MS fairly well, it does have an affect on my mood. Recently in sunday school a video called Lift was shown. I've seen it before, and although it is a very uplifting video, for me it is highly upsetting. Basically, the woman it is about has MS and can't function in certain day to day things (like getting out of bed) and needs someone to assist her. I fear this could happen to me any day (and it has a fair chance of happening, too.)

Here it is:

I had to step out. I didn't want to confront this video and the feelings it brings in front of my peers at the singles ward. Thankfully, no one really noticed. Why do I bring this up? I suppsose to give you an insight into my life. Hey, it worked, no? I don't bring these things up to get attention, or for your ridiculous pity, I've gotten enough pity for a lifetime, I want you to treat me normally and not tease and bully when I don't function as a normal person. Makes sense, right? I hope so. If all else fails, pray that God will bless you to know how to treat me and others like me. (why, you should be doing that anyway! before you fail!)

Well, I feel this post is long enough and accomplishes what I wanted it to. Basically don't be a jerk to me and don't pity me.